Recently I was triggered by my friend big time – it was one of those ‘hit between the eyes’ realization that once you have seen the truth, you just can no longer not see it.
I went through all the phases of anger, rage, disappointment, the feelings of been betrayed, to hurt and sadness and I guess in the end I was grieving a friendship that was gone forever – at least the friendship that was because what has been done can never be undone.
So where does the opportunities part came in here? Well it was an opportunity to do some inner work on myself, to apply some mirror work and see where in my life I have done the same sort of thing. It was also an opportunity to see how many times I have ignored the ‘red flags’ and chosen to overlook them for the sake of our friendship, chalking them up to “it’s not a big deal” – when in fact it was. Which is hugely funny in a way as I have written a program on boundaries – and I was clearly not valuing myself in these situations. (I will upload the program to my website shortly.)
After this exercise I was able to forgive my friend for just treating me the way I had taught her to treat me, I thanked her for the valuable lesson and then I forgave the younger me that had allowed myself to overlook all the warning signs.
Showing grace and mercy to yourself and others is a beautiful experience in itself and all of this was done quietly by myself, for myself.
To be truthful I have had no contact with my friend for a few weeks now and that’s Okay, what we had has gone and maybe in the future we can build a new relationship – or not. I feel neutral about her and what happened and that is an excellent place to be.
So I encourage you to always look to yourself when upset arrives at your door, there is always an opportunity to heal and grow to become a better version of who you are. People come into your life for a reason, a season or a life time. In every interaction with someone there is something to be learnt, always look for that gem as there are no mistakes in life – there is always a reason the Universe had you experience what you did, whether the reason is “good or bad”.
If you want help with something similar or something that is a persistent complaint in your life, something that keeps showing up in different scenarios –please contact me on shirleymduplessis@gmail.com and we can work something out.